*Tick*Tick*Tick* .... BANG!!!

We read articles, self help books, watch Sex and the City and listen to advice about relationships from friends and those more experienced than ourselves. We lay awake at night rethinking text messages, tone of voice in phone calls, dinner plans and card greetings.

We stand in the super market for ages wondering what to get for dinner, which wine he will like and what dessert will induce sex. We spend our time with our new partners deciphering body language, getting to know their characteristic traits and looks and drive ourselves mad during kissing sessions of what may be going through his mind, if your breath stinks, if you should have applied lip balm before starting. We drive ourselves to distraction!

Why? Why do we go on and on about things in our minds? Why is this constant drive to be completely perfect plaguing our quality of relationships and is this the main cause for failure of gay relationships? Are we so worried of not living up to our dating/Facebook profiles of the extremist perfect branding of ourselves that it could destroy our quality of life?

It has recently been told to me that I am mad. I know I am eccentric, I like being eccentric, but I realized that I am somewhat inconsistent in love and life. Is it due to age? Lack of experience? Or what I have stated above?

Does knowing more about our lovers make it more difficult for us to make informed and decisive decisions when it comes to our relationships? Are we so completely obsessed to have the perfect lover, life, car, job, wardrobe, sporting ability, and body that it consumes all the little pleasures that we do not allow ourselves to enjoy. Life doesn’t carry on forever and neither does your teenage hairline.

Is the DINK (Double income no kids) lifestyle aging us at the same rate 2 screaming brats and a bond would? The cover model/Conde Nast lifestyle doesn’t seem to be for the faint hearted and more importantly is our “switched on-ness” going to switch us off eventually?

Do we wake up in our mid thirties, walk to the bathroom scratching our flannel wedgy, get to the mirror – La Mer EyeCreme wand in hand – and let out a blood curdling scream when we see our reflections? When do we not realize that we need to stop and smell the roses along the way?
Thankfully I am now with someone that forces me to see the everyday. Not the weekend, or next month or the 5 year plan and as the epitome of the W.A.S.P it is taking time for me to slow myself down.

The question is, how do we change our natures to be kinder to ourselves in the long run? That’s right… another thing to worry about!

Prep Tastic

Herewith some rules of dress for my fellow preppiens!

We wear sportswear. This makes it easier to go from sporting events to social events (not that there is much difference) without changing.

We generally underdress. We prefer it to overdressing.

Your underwear must not show. Wear a nude-colored strapless bra. Pull up your pants. Wear a belt. Do something. Use a tie!

We do not display our wit through T-shirt slogans.

Every single one of us—no matter the age or gender or sexual preference—owns a blue blazer.

We take care of our clothes, but we're not obsessive. A tiny hole in a sweater, a teensy stain on the knee of our trousers, doesn't throw us.

We do, however, wear a lot of white in the summer, and it must be spotless.

Bags and shoes need not match.

Jewelry should not match, though metals should.
On the other hand, your watch doesn't have to be the same metal as your jewelry.
And you can wear gold with a platinum wedding band and/or engagement ring.

Men's jewelry should be restricted to a handsome watch, a wedding band if he is American and married, and nothing else. If he has a family-crest ring, it may be worn as well. For black-tie, of course, shirt studs and matching cuff links are de rigueur.

Nose rings are never preppy.

Neither (shudder) are belly-button piercings.

Nor are (two shudders) tongue studs.

And that goes for ankle bracelets.

Tattoos: Men who have been in a war have them, and that's one thing. (Gang wars don't count.) Anyone else looks like she is trying hard to be cool. Since the body ages, if you must tattoo, find a spot that won't stretch too much. One day you will want to wear a halter-necked backless gown. Will you want everyone at the party to know you once loved a man called Bo?

Sneakers (a.k.a. tennis shoes, running shoes, trainers) are not worn with skirts.

Men may wear sneakers with linen or cotton trousers to casual summer parties.

Women over the age of 15 may wear a simple black dress. Women over the age of 21 must have several in rotation.

High-heel rule: You must be able to run in them—on cobblestones, on a dock, in case of a spontaneous foot race.

Clothes can cost any amount, but they must fit. Many a preppy has an item from a vintage shop or a lost-and-found bin at the club that was tailored and looks incredibly chic.

Do not fret if cashmere is too pricey. Preppies love cotton and merino-wool sweaters.

We do not wear our cell phones or BlackBerrys suspended from our belts.

Real suspenders are attached with buttons. We do not wear the clip versions.

Learn how to tie your bow tie. Do not invest in clip-ons.

Preppies are considerate about dressing our age. It is for you, not for us.

Men, if you made the mistake of buying leather sandals, please give them to Goodwill.

You may, however, wear flip-flops to the beach if your toes are presentable. Be vigilant!

Pareos (sarongs) are for the beach, not for the mall. (Even if it's near the beach.)

Riding boots may be worn by non-riders; cowboy boots may be worn by those who have never been on a horse. However, cowboy hats may not be worn by anyone who isn't technically a cowboy or a cowgirl.

You may wear a Harvard sweatshirt if: you attended Harvard, your spouse attended Harvard, or your children attend Harvard. Otherwise, you are inviting an uncomfortable question.

No man bags.

Preppies don't perm their hair.

Preppy men do not believe that comb-overs disguise anything.

You can never go wrong with a trench coat.

Sweat suits are for sweating. You can try to get away with wearing sweats to carpool, to pick up the newspaper, or to drive to the dump, but last time you were at the dump, the drop-dead-attractive widower from Bishopscourt was there, too.

And finally:

The best fashion statement is no fashion statement.