We read articles, self help books, watch Sex and the City and listen to advice about relationships from friends and those more experienced than ourselves. We lay awake at night rethinking text messages, tone of voice in phone calls, dinner plans and card greetings.
We stand in the super market for ages wondering what to get for dinner, which wine he will like and what dessert will induce sex. We spend our time with our new partners deciphering body language, getting to know their characteristic traits and looks and drive ourselves mad during kissing sessions of what may be going through his mind, if your breath stinks, if you should have applied lip balm before starting. We drive ourselves to distraction!
Why? Why do we go on and on about things in our minds? Why is this constant drive to be completely perfect plaguing our quality of relationships and is this the main cause for failure of gay relationships? Are we so worried of not living up to our dating/Facebook profiles of the extremist perfect branding of ourselves that it could destroy our quality of life?
It has recently been told to me that I am mad. I know I am eccentric, I like being eccentric, but I realized that I am somewhat inconsistent in love and life. Is it due to age? Lack of experience? Or what I have stated above?
Does knowing more about our lovers make it more difficult for us to make informed and decisive decisions when it comes to our relationships? Are we so completely obsessed to have the perfect lover, life, car, job, wardrobe, sporting ability, and body that it consumes all the little pleasures that we do not allow ourselves to enjoy. Life doesn’t carry on forever and neither does your teenage hairline.
Is the DINK (Double income no kids) lifestyle aging us at the same rate 2 screaming brats and a bond would? The cover model/Conde Nast lifestyle doesn’t seem to be for the faint hearted and more importantly is our “switched on-ness” going to switch us off eventually?
Do we wake up in our mid thirties, walk to the bathroom scratching our flannel wedgy, get to the mirror – La Mer EyeCreme wand in hand – and let out a blood curdling scream when we see our reflections? When do we not realize that we need to stop and smell the roses along the way?
Thankfully I am now with someone that forces me to see the everyday. Not the weekend, or next month or the 5 year plan and as the epitome of the W.A.S.P it is taking time for me to slow myself down.
The question is, how do we change our natures to be kinder to ourselves in the long run? That’s right… another thing to worry about!
No comments:
Post a Comment