You...

Waking up in the same bed as you as I am sore as hell now but it has always been nothing but a pleasure... Feeling your warm skin and your breath on me has never been more real. For a small time in the mornings I can close my eyes and be with you and amazingly the entire world and all its happenings for a brief moment makes sense...

I don't have anything to offer you except myself... This being slightly damaged now, but still I give you everything I am without hesitation or the least bit of reluctance. I know you only experience absolute clarity later in life, but I have it now... Waking up next to you in the mornings makes me the happiest person I can be.

We may not have jewels and furs, but we have love, and the adventure of being there for each other while we face the challenges of the world together.

As I hand my life to a surgeon today for the third time, I know in my heart that I am smiling the widest smile possible. I know that our tears for each other were not in vain and that one day, when I die an old man, I will do so with a heart full of love, compassion and understanding for you as is humanly possible.

You have been there for me through my sorrow, you have watched me experience gladness and today and every other day, even though I have experienced your absolute compassion every day, I saw the look on your face that I want to carry with me in my heart for the rest of my life.... As that of my soulmate!

More love can never be shared between two people. I know the days will come in the near future where we will enjoy swimming in clear blue water together and where we will be able to giggle about all the trials of our past! Most importantly thank you for sharing the load with me and for holding my hand when I shrink back from facing up to my fears.

Thank you for being there, with love for me when I have been trying to be a stronger person. For the understanding of what I may be experiencing without words being shared and for the joy that can be shared when I have finally crossed this struggle and entered back into normality.

I know I say it to you every day, but I really, well and truely love you...

Recovery...

What a wurlwind three months it has been!

I had a car accident and was thankfully found by a policewoman. I was on my way to dinner with a friend. Than kfully she found me. I was unconscious with a right arm broken in two places, a dislocated neck and a brain that was torn off the lining on the left hand side of the inside of my scull. I spent three weeks in a coma in hospital and got pneumonia that they struggled to cure. My family watched me wither away into nothing as I lost 20kg’s. I then spend two weeks after waking up in traction due to the dislocation.
I was fed by John just about every day bar for the time he had to go spend with family. And finally made it out of hell after 5 weeks agonizing surgery and a cast on my arm. As I am writing this I still haven’t regained movement completely in my right arm…it’s a work in progress. I am thankful every day for being loved and being appreciated and hope I never take anyone in my life for granted again.
I am still quite upset about a few things and am working my way around how I feel about them and how my mind is working sans accident. It teaches you to slow down and appreciate things more…
I am close to tears about still being alive…. Being able to be given a second chance and letting go of some issues of the past…
I don’t know if I am more or less erratic than I was before but I find it more difficult to hide emotion and it has proven to get me into some trouble so far.
Let’s hope this year is filled with love, life and a good future as I learn more on my path to becoming more man…