The Last Straight (Acting) Man…

When in conversation with my devastatingly attractive fellow friends that have also struggled to find the right man for ages, a common denominator has always come to the fore… A STRAIGHT ACTING MAN!

While the bunch in my friendship circle are not exactly the biggest most strapping bunch of burley men… we do know how to please the mentioned and be VERY good arm candy! This being said… we have now all adopted the “old enough for marriage” attitude and have been scowering the corners of the dregs of gay society for the possibility of the urban legend – “the last straight acting man”.

A said friend in complete desperation and the hope of finding a Gerald Butler look alike that happens to enjoy cooking, be wealthy and own a golden retriever did what most 20something gay men do in their state of panic (biological clock and all that) and joined Gaydar…. *awkward silence* . Not being exempt of having done this myself and neither is any of you reading this but we all know that not one of the 2000profiles of Scene Queens, GHD using, blue contact lens boffing fools are what we are looking for…and this in itself is enough to generally throw you over the edge into pudding and a romantic comedy completed with a box of Kleenex.
So the question is… DOES HE EXCIST?!

While the idea of the camel man that happens to be kind hearted AND appreciate a bit of cock and bum fun turns us all on… I need to see a few to believe it myself. This so called gay wet dream for us boys does NOT do/own or partake in any of the following:

Prada
iPhone
GHD – (Even if his hair resembles Big Bird’s pubes)
Hand Lotion
Scarves
Excessive Clubbing
Full body Waxing (If his legs are smoother than a supermodels bikini line… run)
A Hairstyle otherwise seen on exotic bird life in the Amazon (creative colours included)

This man doesn’t whine because his hair appointment had to be moved. He is not considered a “pretty boy”. He has a five o clock shadow… in the morning. He offers his jacket when he can see you are getting cold. He helps without being asked. He gets along with your father. He partakes in DIY. He has rugby player legs. He holds YOU at night. He makes you feel safe. When he loves you, he means YOU not your cock or your arse. His eyes look right through you and at any time he can throw you over his shoulder, drag you back to the bedroom and fuck your brains out!
My point being that if these men exist, they don’t go to clubs on weekends, they don’t have sad profiles about kittens and long walks on the beach on testosterone driven fuckfest dating sites and they certainly aren’t one of your mum’s friends kids. This man could be the guy that services your car, the guy that plays touch rugby with your best girlfriend’s straight friends and possibly has a pilot’s license (ok maybe not)… but boys… he is not an underwear model, he is not Daniel Craig but I am sure he is possible and I will find him even if it kills me trying!

The question, however that we can be asking ourselves, is if we are really ready to handle him?